Alice Is Dead
by Anonymous-Writing
Summary: Waking up with no memory in a hole that seems miles deep, a man with amnesia has to try and find his way out, unlike the poor girl in the blue and white dress who never managed to - pity, she looked like a child judging by the size of her skeleton, but what child writes "kill the rabbit" everywhere? But things get a lot more complicated when his memory returns. I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1: Kill The Rabbit

I'm recording this in case I don't get out of here. The girl in here certainly didn't, she's nothing but a skeleton in a blue and white dress now. There are some strands of blonde hair left around her head, I hope it's hers and not some creature's. I fell down this hole, like a large rabbit hole, and I must've hit my head pretty hard cos I don't remember anything. I can't climb back out, but there is an arch door in front of me, but it's locked… I'm guessing the girl in front of me couldn't open it. I hope she was just a short adult, but her skeleton looks like a child's. At least the flesh has all rotted away, I feel sick enough already… I need to get out of here. There's a shovel across from me, maybe I could dig my way out?

Apparently not, I grabbed the shovel and the metal blade remained in the floor, so now I have a stick. Great. There's also a chest next to the shovel but it's half buried in mud and I can't open it. I don't even know who I am. If I die here I hope someone else finds out what happened. I do love my stick. I'm so glad I have my stick. Oh well, I'm in better shape than that girl, she should try make up.

Good news! I found a playing card: five of hearts. Joy! I'm 51 cards away from being able to play card games with myself until I die of thirst and starvation.

OK, I have an idea. Call me sick I don't care. I mean it's not like she's using it, she could be glad to help me. Lending me a hand. Or well a leg but same thing. If I use that rock there to sharpen it to a point… Done! Let's try and pick this door lock, then, also gonna pick up the empty bottle next to skellyqueen.

So through some weird device the door didn't unlock, but I heard the unlocking noise, so I've just spent god knows how long trying to pull the door open without looking behind me to the chest, which opened. Except there's stairs leading down to somewhere in it. That can't be right. I also found a note in the girl's pocket that said "kill the rabbit". Well I suppose she got hungry. Well, if I can't go up…

OK. This place is huge. I'm in…a garden? I want to go forward but there's something in the distance, in a hollow tree trunk, I can't quite make it out, but it's blue and big and bug like so I'm gonna avoid that. Then again the other way is just plain grass for as far as I can see… Alright, I've got it. I filled up the bottle with some kind of acidic liquid. If that thing tries to hurt me I'll throw acid on it.

Well that didn't quite work out as planned. I through the acid and it just melted the web surrounding the blue giant caterpillar thing, and I may have panicked. It just stood there. It just looked at me with red eyes, it looked half dead. Is it possible for a caterpillar to look like a stoner? Well I found a use for my stick I suppose; I broke the glass bottle and attached it to the stick with sap, and stabbed him. He barely reacted. Oh well, I suppose he can say hi to skeleton girl for me. I got some stuff from him though – a glass lens and a key. Well, one of those things could be useful; I should go see if the key opens the door that opened the chest garden. Maybe I've just gone crazy and I'm dreaming all this, I'm not sure what's worse.

The key didn't work. I really don't know what I expected at this point. But I still have a lens, I bet it looks good on me, it looked good on the girl skeleton. Oh god. Oh god. There's writing all over the walls, you can only see it with the lens. In case you, reader, never find the lens take my word for it. She went crazy.

_Kill the Rabbit _

_I want to go home_

_Why won't you open?! _

_Just open_

_I feel sick_

_It's funny now_

_I think I'll stay at home today_

_Kill the rabbit _

_I'm hungry_

_Why won't you open my friend? _

_Kill the rabbit_

This girl really, really hated rabbits. Poor kid. But there are numbers etched on the wall, 6 all scattered… 829203. I don't know, it could be useful. Guess I better go back downstairs to the garden chest.

Damn this garden's huge, and I can't stop thinking about that kid. It isn't right. Finally! I found a door in a tree. It's weird that saying that doesn't seem weird to me after all this. Anyway, the key worked, but it still won't open. There's a little card swipe on the side. Worth a try with the fifth of hearts, I suppose, although I was looking forward to solitaire for the next few days. There's a briefcase in the tree. Is there nothing helpful down this messed up hole? It has a combination lock, I bet it's those numbers.

I opened the briefcase, and in it there was a small handheld mirror, I recognised it but couldn't remember where until I saw my reflection. I apologise for my former ineloquence, I wasn't myself, I think I shall keep these notes private. In the mirror I, as expected, saw my reflection. I am the rabbit. And someone in wonderland wants me dead.


	2. Chapter 2: Mad Hatter

I remembered who I was. And what I had done. It was just one last job; one last kill – and it all went wrong. I had to escape. But she was already there. As quick as the memories came back, there were gone with a blow to the back of my head.

When I awoke I was in this jail with a dead cellmate. He seemed nice…whatever he was. Some weird mermaid tentacle monster. A man stood in the cell next to me, we were separated by a layer of glass. He's just been…staring at me this entire time. The only way I know he's alive is the slight movement from his breathing, and the occasional blinking. He's not a tall man, his hat is as big as his head, and there's a card through it. The five of hearts. It's not a normal playing card it's a big novelty one, but it seems to be going into is head, there's even blood on his hat. It must be fake, probably one of those dumb things made for children to play with. Still, I don't see a way out, so I should probably talk to him.

Before I can speak, he says, "Well if it isn't the rabbit come to see his ol' pal the hatter."

"Who the hell are you?" I ask.

"I have a card in me head, but you have the memory problems?"

If he doesn't shut up laughing I'm going to find a way to punch him in the face. "Whatever, where are we?"

"We're in Wonderland jail."

Fantastic. "Dare I ask why?"

"I was arrested for…misbehaving. As for you," he laughs. "I have no idea why you were arrested."

"I've had enough of you," I say. "I'm getting out of this place."

"You want to escape? Well if you can think of a way out, come back and tell me."

"Fine, I hope this is the last time I see you."

"Nice seeing you two rabbit."

Well that was productive. Whatever, I need a piss. With the hatter watching, this shouldn't be awkward. Alright let's get this over with. Something comes to the surface when I flush the toilet. Dirty place. Better look around this cell for a way out.

I found some x-rays under Tentacle Guy…I think he must have ate a key. Maybe…

"I think my dead cellmate has the key." I shout to the hatter.

"You want to get the key out of Lewis? Well, you'll probably need to find the magical nut.

"A magical nut? Shut up."

"Sometimes you need a nut…" He pauses for dramatic effect. What an asshole. "To get a nut."

"Just explain what the damn nut does."

"It'll shrink you that's what it'll do, but only for a few moments, so you must work quickly."

"Cut to the chase hatter."

"You need to find the magical nut still…"

God I hope you die. Wait, that thing in the toilet…

"I found you damn stinking nut."

"Good," says the hatter as I retrieve it from the toilet bowl. Kind of wishing I had held off going for a piss now. "now just cut open Lewis…and whisper your darkest secret to the nut."

"Cut open Lewis? Are you mad? …Oh, right."

"You're probably gonna wanna cut him open so you don't have to travel down his throat or up his…look, you're probably just gonna wanna cut him open."

"I hope this works so I don't have to see you again."

"Nice seeing you too, Rabbit."

I grabbed a shard from the broken mirror and wrapped it in some bed cloth – that should do, not like old Lewis is at risk of infection or anything. Let's do this.

Crap! I cut open his stomach to try to get the key and this giant – well I suppose he isn't really giant – worm burst from his stomach. I managed to kill it but it blocked my way to the key. I can't get the key from out here, now what do I do? Guess I got to talk to that damn hatter again.

What? He's…he's gone where did he go? There's a message written on the glass "You put me in a bad mood". Well same back at you, hatter. Now how do I get out? Maybe I can bust this door down… Great! It's unlocked, the hatter must have done it. He isn't totally useless then.

Jesus…I just reached the elevator and there's some guy getting crushed by the door trying to close. There's blood everywhere oh god…he should have taken the stairs. Whatever I just need to get out of here, guess it'd be rude and inconvient of me to use the elevator. Better keep going.

Oh good, the next room as more dead bodies. Two this time, great, dead guards. I suppose I don't have to sneak around this way. "You can always take more than nothing!" is written on the wall, the same handwriting as the hatter's in the cell. Sound advice. Thanks, Hatty. Hold on there's a note…written in blood. Lovely.

"Implausible

Dancing

Irrefutably

Accentuating

Chuckles

Hatty"

Thanks. Thanks a bloody bunch.

The only other thing in this room is a newpaper, headline "Queen elected for a third term!". I care so little I may vomit. Wait a second, the hatter's meantioned here. I need to get this down.

"Hatter's code broken?!

The Hatter's mysterious notes may actually have hidden messages in them!

Ever since that terrible, mysterious accident seems to have rendered our beloved hatter insane, he's leaving cryptic notes at the scenes of his heinous crimes. The loyal and noble heart police are said to be on his trail now and they have cracked his secret. In every note he's left, the second letter of each word seemed to be key, and perhaps shows this madman isn't as mad as everyone thinks.

"It is terrible what happened to my good friend. He and I go far back, and I hope that one day we'll catch him and get him all the help he needs." – Queen of Hearts."

Christ. There's some articles on his murders but I think I've read enough. Poor crazy bastard. Still, the code… M…A…R…C…H. March. How is that suppose to help me? Actually…no, it wouldn't be…well, I suppose it's worth a shot. It couldn't be the key to the safe could it? What's the worst that can come of trying?

I can't believe that worked. Maybe the Hatter is helping me…but why? Whatever, I got the contents of the safe, photos I can look at later. Now how do I get out of here? I need to rest, just lean up against a wall for a few minutes, gather myself.

"Doctor Raymen Burr was a cowardly man with a big heart, until he lost all his money."

That painting just talked…there's buttons next to it. I know pressing red buttons is suicide but…well, I think I know what this is. Knew it. The buttons change the face, hands and pocket contents of the painting. Let's see here…cowardly man...chicken head, easy. Big heart, heart, easy. And finally the hand dropping a coin. They're making this too easy for me really. A door's come down…well what other options do I have?

I'm outside now. That's all that matters. There's a screen here with a button on it. Worked for me once, right? …Well shit. That button's made it rain fish. I'm not going to bother trying to understand at this point. Better look at the evidence until the trout rain clears up.

I had more questions than answers. But one thing was clear. Because of me…Alice is dead.


End file.
